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The Gift of Doing Nothing
Years ago comedienne Lily Tomlin created a character named "Edith Ann" whose classic line was "My name is Edith Ann. I'm five years old and I don't have to do nothing if I don't want to!" The line was followed by a big "raspberry". Well, I'm convinced that each and every one of us has our own Edith Ann lurking just below the surface. Unfortunately she has been "guilted" out of doing nothing and as a result we live in a culture that is addicted to activity and adrenaline. We check our email dozens of times daily and sit on the edge of our seats waiting for the next 140 character "Tweet" to come our way! It's crazy.
When was the last time you gave yourself the gift of doing nothing? When you have a few spare moments are you scurrying around picking up, doing laundry, answering email, making phone calls, running errands or going shopping? I can hear the objections now:
- "But Betty, there is so much to do, if I do nothing it won't get done."
- Hint #1: "It" will never be done, so get over it!
- Hint #2: I don't advocate spending all your time doing nothing, just a few minutes a day is powerful.
- Hint #3: Doing nothing is like the pause to rest or rehydrate that experienced athletes know is essential for peak performance.
- Hint #4: The work of life always expands to fill the time you make available for it.
- "But Betty, I can't just sit there; my mind races." You'll get over it.
- "But Betty..." you fill in the blank with your favorite excuse here.
This past week I posted this question on my Facebook page: "If you had an extra hour a day, what would you do with it?"
Responses ranged from, "Be on Facebook, to get a massage, to exercise or read." A couple of people responded that they would nap or sleep. All made good sense but one activity was glaringly absent from the list: Nothing. That's right, "nothing" is a legitimate way of spending a few minutes and yet we rarely, if ever, give ourselves permission to simply do nothing. Now one might argue that meditation or napping are close equivalents, and certainly valuable restorative activities, but how many of us even give ourselves the breathing room for those activities with any regularity or without feeling guilty.
Many years ago when I was just learning about this adventure called coaching, my coach advised me to begin letting go of activities that were done out of a sense of guilt or someone else's "should" so I could slow down long enough to connect with my "inner Betty." There were few assignments more challenging! Initially, as I began to let go of many of the activities that defined my life, I went through a period of withdrawal. I felt as if I had become a bore. There was space and quiet around me, which at the time I misinterpreted as boring and it was tempting to fill in those "nothing gaps" with a flurry of activity. But I stuck with it and allowed myself the time and space to heal from chronic busy-ness. The result was that I did reconnect with my "inner Betty" and began to tap my own inner well of creativity, peace, abundance and joy in the process.
And somewhere along the way I realized that, like Lily Tomlin's Edith Ann, I didn't have to do "nothing" if I didn't want to. It was the beginning of freedom, of choice and a centered way of being that, while it has flagged periodically in the years since, has never disappeared.
This week I challenge you to give yourself permission to do nothing, to begin connecting with the inner part of you that gets shut out with all the noise, hurry, busy-ness and constant activity of life.
Start with little moments of quiet and calm. When sitting in traffic, rather than grabbing your cell phone to call someone, take a few minutes to breathe and connect with the moment. When you get up in the morning, rather than starting at full velocity, take a few minutes to reconnect with the quiet; go outside and wake up with nature. When coming home, if you work in an office, rather than blast the stereo or listen to your IPod, use the time to soak up the silence, to shift gears so when you walk through the door you're ready to really BE at home.
Philosopher Blaise Pascal has said it more eloquently than I ever could: "All man's miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone."
Give yourself the gift this week and as often as you can in the days and weeks ahead to regularly "sit quietly in a room alone." It may make you uncomfortable at first. It may bring you face to face with things you'd rather not see. But ultimately it will reconnect you with the "inner YOU" and perhaps you'll begin to know yourself for the first time.
By the way, many people wrote last week to tell me that they found the idea of a "word anchor" very powerful. Thank you so much for your feedback. This week, take that word anchor into the "nothing zone" with you and discover just how powerful it can be.
Have a beautiful week!
Quote of the Week
"All man's miseries derive from not being able to sit quietly in a room alone."
~~Blaise Pascal
One of the tools to living a "five star life" is being able to be with yourself, to truly appreciate the gift your life is. If you want more ideas on how to live a more abundant, joyful life, I invite you to take a look at my book Living a Five Star Life available from Simple Truths. "Five star living" isn't about having more, it's about embracing what you have. Thanks for your awesome support!!
If you've ever thought about hiring a coach but the cost held you back, welcome to Compass Life Coaching. It's a whole new way of delivering life-changing, powerful coaching. For more information or to try it out for 10 days FREE, click on the link below or contact me at (702) 658-4425 or bettym@dynamic-coaching.com.
New Coaching Program!
Finally, an affordable life coaching program!! If you are one of the many who has often thought about having a coach but were unable to afford the high monthly cost of one-on-one coaching, I am pleased to announce my affiliation with Compass Life Coaching! Combine a brilliant high-tech delivery system with the high-touch of group coaching, plus a coaching model that is transforming lives and you have Compass Life Coaching. Watch for announcements about upcoming live and web-based events that will offer you a sample of the power of Compass. Or contact me today for more information at bettym@dynamic-coaching.com or (702) 658-4425.
| "Transforming Your Potential into Performance!" | |||||||
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Betty Mahalik, PCC
Life & Business Coach, Trainer bettym@dynamic-coaching.com www.dynamic-coaching.com |
Dynamic Solutions
5240 Mustang St. Las Vegas, NV 89130
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