Success Amnesia

Over the years, working with hundreds of clients (and of course myself) I've regularly come across two common roadblocks to success that I've named: "success amnesia" and a sister-issue "success minimization syndrome." It's amazing just how common these two conditions are. Read on for more information and prescriptions for how to break free of these life-limiting and joy-stealing habits!

1) The first condition is what I call success amnesia. This occurs when you forget all the good things you've done and only remember your flubs, failures and shortcomings. Example: you're learning a new job or skill and make it harder than it needs to be because you don't connect it in any way with successes you've had in the past. Or when asked to recount something you were successful doing you start by listing all the ways you "screwed it up". There are many variations on the story line but the result is still the same: you never fully appreciate yourself for your successes, and because you are so busy deflecting any sense of accomplishment it's more difficult to duplicate your successes in the future.

2) Success minimization syndrome is what happens when you minimize your successes and maximize your failures. Your successes are never good enough, meanwhile you magnify your failures and shortcomings. A variation on this theme is playing the comparison game, making certain that others (at least in your mind) outshine you in every possible way. Good enough is never good enough, and the slightest glitch or anything short of perfection is cause for despair.

In either case the result is similar: You stay stuck in smallness and self-defeat, poring over your losses or failures with an almost maniacal glee. And you never get to experience the full sense of accomplishment and enjoyment that comes from acknowledging yourself for a job well done. There simply has to be a better way!

Here are some simple but powerful strategies for building your success-memory and acknowledgement muscles:

1) Start keeping a success journal. It doesn't have to be elaborate, just start keeping track of times you do something positive or listing small successes you have along the way. Make it a point to jot down at least three successes a day, no matter how small. Anything from writing a thank-you note to completing a project at work is fair game. Did you walk or exercise today, even for a few minutes? It goes on the list. Start taking credit for what you do right instead of beating yourself up for your perceived shortcomings!

2) Stop comparing yourself! There is nothing more self-defeating than constantly comparing yourself negatively to someone else. When you find yourself in comparison mode mentally shout "STOP!" to halt the runaway train. Then immediately replace that comparison with a good thought about yourself. Many years ago my coach at the time gave me this affirmation: "I'm doing the best I can and so is everyone else." I used it often and regularly when I was tempted to fall prey to the comparison monster.

3) When someone pays you a compliment, respond with a gracious "thank you." I don't know what it is that makes us so readily deflect a compliment by immediately excusing or 'negatizing' it in some way. The classic, "Oh, this old thing" when someone compliments you on your clothing has worn out its welcome! Next time someone pays you a compliment on anything, do yourself and them a huge favor by simply saying "thank you." It won't be long before you feel 100% at ease accepting other people's positive feedback.

4) When someone asks how you're doing, learn to respond in the positive by citing good things going on in your life, or by saying something like "Amazing!" It's so easy to fall into the habit of reciting the bad stuff (thus strengthening your case of success amnesia). Who really wants to hear it? I'm not recommending that you start a brag-a-thon, but have something positive to talk about when someone asks that question. Come from passion, enjoy your successes and you'll tend to attract people who are up to good things too. Just remember not to compare yourself with them!

If what we think about tends to expand, and it does; and if we tend to attract more of what we're thinking about, and we do, it is imperative if you want to become more successful that you think about success, not failure! Instead of the misguided notion that we can only learn from our failures, it's time to start learning from our successes!

This week start eliminating success amnesia and success minimization syndrome from your life. You have nothing to lose except a sense of failure, and everything to gain by treating yourself as the champion you really are!

Have a winning week!

Quote of the Week:

"If you place little value on yourself, rest assured, the world will not raise the price."

~~Anonymous

Stay Inspired!

When someone commented to the great motivational speaker Zig Ziglar that "motivation doesn't last" his pithy reply was, "Neither does a bath. That's why you have to repeat it regularly!" This week, if you're looking for uplifting messages and reminders to help strengthen your success muscles, I have two recommendations from the Simple Truths collection:

Living a Five Star Life: This is a collection of my favorite Monday Morning Coach messages, along with beautiful photography and inspiring quotes.

Living a 5 Star Life

Charging the Human Battery

"Transforming Your Potential into Performance!"
Betty Mahalik, PCC Life & Business Coach, Trainer bettym@dynamic-coaching.com www.dynamic-coaching.com	Dynamic Solutions 5240 Mustang St. Las Vegas, NV 89130 tel: 702 658-4425 fax: 702 658-5802 mobile: 702 443-0175
Want a signature like this?