Giving Away Your Power

I recently finished reading a fabulous book: Alan Cohen's "Why Your Life Sucks and What You Can Do About It." In the first chapter he discusses "giving away your power." And of course, it got me thinking about who and what I give my power away to.

I'm guessing I'm not alone in giving away my power from time to time! My first marriage was a lesson (among others) in giving away my power. One particular area where I gave away my right to decide, do and be (i.e. my power) was in the area of money. That all changed when I met my current husband (25 years and counting!) because we had an empowering agreement: he had money to spend as he wished, I had money to spend as I wished. End of power struggle.

But since then, there have been numerous times I have surrendered my power in life and business. What about you? Have you, or are you currently giving away your power to someone or something rather than empowering yourself to act based on your personal values and principles? Here are a few areas where we give away our power:

1) The economy. Granted there are jobs being lost and changes aplenty going on in our economy. But have you adopted the recession and made it part of your emotional economy as well? Here are signs that you may have given your power away: spending time talking about how bad things are; worrying about the state of the economy; getting caught up in the media-driven hysteria anytime there is a bump in the stock market. How have you surrendered and given up power in this vital area?

2) Relationships. Are you giving away your power to a relationship out of obligation rather than a true, heartfelt commitment? You're not doing anyone favors by showing up inauthentically, pretending to be engaged when you'd really prefer to be somewhere else. A sure sign that you've given up your power in a relationship is making yourself responsible for someone else's happiness or trying to fix others broken lives. Get busy on your own life and let others do the same!!

3) The media. OMG! We surrender our lives daily to the deluge of bad news from the media. We suddenly become captive to the panic over swine flu or bacteria on spinach. We become media pawns when we assume that everyone who has a platform is thoroughly informed and knowledgeable. We worry and obsess over the "crisis du jour." Realize this: the media exists to sell. Period. Granted there are legitimate and credible media sources but far too many of us spend too much time letting the media (advertisers, bloggers, talk show pundits, newscasters, anyone with an opinion and a pulpit) tell us what to do, how to feel and who to be with. Reclaim your power and limit your exposure to media.

4) Social roles. I recently heard about a woman who has spent her life surrendering her power to a self-created role as "housewife". "Who" she is became subject to her definition of the role. She apparently had few outside friends or interests, did little to nurture herself physically or emotionally and now the kicker: she thinks her husband is cheating on her and stealing money. If you've let yourself be totally defined by the role (s) you play (housewife, business owner, mom, doctor, lawyer, Indian chief!) you have given away your power. You are more than your job description! Let this be a reminder that we can empower ourselves by breaking free of self-imposed, artificial descriptions that limit our options. Don't be held captive by a role!

5) Organizations. Over the years I have been a member of many organizations-from service clubs to professional associations to churches and educational organizations. And I've noticed that often we allow our membership in a particular organization to define us, thus giving up our power. Organizations of themselves are not bad, but if you've given away your power to an organization that tells you what to do, who to be and other "shoulds" at the expense of your own choice, I invite you to examine those affiliations. The best organizations help us to grow into the people we are meant to be, not hold us prisoner.

Think about it this week. Have you given up your power to decide? Are you letting the media, social roles and organizations, limiting relationships or the economy define who you are and how you'll live? The shift back to personal power is simple, although it may not be easy. Make this the week you declare your independence and empower yourself in ways that break through old barriers and limitations. It could be the beginning of a whole new life, and at the very least, you'll begin living more by design than default.

Have a powerful week!

Quote of the Week:

"In the long run, we shape our lives, and we shape ourselves. The process never ends until we die. And the choices we make are ultimately our own responsibility."
~~Eleanor Roosevelt

Betty Recommends - The Dash

Perhaps there is no more eloquent expression of how important it is to live life by design than this simple but profound message titled "The Dash." Are you making the most of your dash? Please enjoy the inspiration and make the choice to live each day with purpose and integrity!

"Transforming Your Potential into Performance!"
Betty Mahalik, PCC Life & Business Coach, Trainer bettym@dynamic-coaching.com www.dynamic-coaching.com	Dynamic Solutions 5240 Mustang St. Las Vegas, NV 89130 tel: 702 658-4425 fax: 702 658-5802 mobile: 702 443-0175
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