Advice: Easy to Give, Difficult to Follow

I have a confession to make: as good as I am at dispensing advice in each week's MMC (remember last week's How's That Working for You?), I'm not nearly so good at following it at times. Perhaps you can relate.

During the past week I had a couple of "challenges" come up that triggered a full-out attack of resistance on my part. In fact full resistance might be understating the case! I immediately sprang into, "Oh no, this can't be happening" behavior, complete with surly mood, anxiety, over-reaction, repetition of ineffective actions and lack of clear thinking. I was in no mood to entertain such nonsense as looking for the silver lining or even stepping back to put things into perspective. No, not me! I was busy "fixing" or at least expending lots of energy in the attempt to "fix" the situations I'm referring to. By the way, neither bears revealing in detail, suffice to say they were not life-threatening, not even life-altering, mostly just aggravating, and now have mostly been resolved. I think Shakespeare described it well when he wrote, "Sound and fury signifying nothing."

So somewhere between "Why is this happening?" and "Why can't I fix it because I MUST fix everything," the realization dawned on me: the first step to fixing is accepting. Betty, you cannot fix what you have failed to accept! I was reminded of an interview I saw last week with spiritual teacher and author Eckart Tolle who, when asked how it's possible for him not to get aggravated by life's frustrations and upsets simply replied: "I just accept what is. Then it's no more disturbing than a gust of wind." He's obviously much further along the path of non-resistance than I but the truth of his words is undeniable.

Maybe a lot of us are falling prey to the tendency to overreact right now. I hope it's not just me. But even if it is, I hope you'll learn from my example and confession. Nothing good can ever come from reaction and resistance. NOTHING. Researchers who study the brain and emotional intelligence have even learned there is a physiological reason that nothing good comes from reaction and resistance. Very simply, when we become upset by situations and circumstances out brains are wired to bypass the rational, cognitive regions of the brain. It takes a conscious override of the "fight or flight" mechanism to force us to stop, accept, assess and formulate an appropriate response.

So I confess, advice is often easy to give and difficult to follow. And I am sharing my humbling experience in the hope that you will benefit from it, and that by writing about it, the next time a big gust of "aggravating wind" blows my way I'll remember my own advice and follow it!

This week, whether you're frustrated by the traffic, ticked off at a rude clerk, or worried and agitated about something larger and potentially more disturbing, remember that acceptance is the first step to resolution. Start by accepting that you're human, prone to make mistakes; forgive yourself and try again. That's what I'm doing this week.

Thanks for sharing the journey with me.

Quote of the Week:

"God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference."

~~The Serenity Prayer

Last Call for Get Clients Now!

There are still a couple of spots in my Get Clients Now! teleclass program scheduled to begin Tuesday, March 3 at 4 p.m. PT. If you are an independent professional who needs to generate more clients, especially in a challenging economy, check out the full description of Get Clients Now! on my website, www.dynamic-coaching.com and click on the link to "What's New" on the home page. Or just reply to this message with "register me" and your contact information and I'll be in touch. Remember, now is the time to be doing more strategic marketing, not less, and to invest in your own professional development! Hope to hear from YOU!

Living a Five Star Life

Living a Five Star Life, my first book, published by Simple Truths is now available. To purchase one for yourself (and several for friends), either click on the link in this message or go to www.dynamic-coaching.com and click on the link to Simple Truths. Here's what one reader had to say about Living a Five Star Life:

Just finished "Living a 5 star life". It gets my 5 stars. I love coming to my office and rereading the chapters, as I can relate to all of it. I have put into practice some of your teachings and I feel better about myself. Thank you for a great book.

- Don K.

"Transforming Your Potential into Performance!"
Betty Mahalik, PCC Life & Business Coach, Trainer bettym@dynamic-coaching.com www.dynamic-coaching.com	Dynamic Solutions 5240 Mustang St. Las Vegas, NV 89130 tel: 702 658-4425 fax: 702 658-5802 mobile: 702 443-0175
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