The Mirrors Around Us

Shakespeare once wrote: "All the world's a stage." Well, with humble apologies to "The Bard," I would like to submit that "All the world's a mirror" as well. A number of recent examples have reminded me that we are surrounded by mirrors reflecting back to us aspects of ourselves we don't always want to see. The good news is, when we respond to those reflections with compassion and curiosity rather than judgement and condemnation we'll learn things that benefit us and those around us.

I was recently listening to an interview with Dr. Deepak Chopra who shared a story that had happened to him; it was a reminder that even the most "enlightened" people on the planet still have work to do. He described being on a book tour and delivering a talk in a large bookstore when a very distraught woman came up to him, demanding to have some of his time. She was desperate it seemed. He politely informed her that if she would see his assistant, they could possibly schedule some time but that he was on a very tight schedule. At that point she came unglued, accused him of being a phony and a hypocrite, who didn't practice what he preached, etc., etc., etc. She left and he proceeded with his lecture.

Later as he was reflecting on the incident and contemplating how he had "attracted" such a negative, demanding person to one of his talks, it occurred to him that perhaps she was mirroring something in himself that he was not aware of. So he took the bold step of phoning his wife and asking her directly, "Am I negative and demanding?" Her long silence after the question spoke volumes.

I had a similar mirror experience recently after spending time with a friend I hadn't seen for a while. At a couple of points during my time with her I thought to myself: "Wow, she is really a know it all, controlling and very stubborn person!" In short order the "mirror principle" kicked in and I was forced to take a hard look at the many times in my life when I am all of those things and more. Gulp!

And finally, in a third experience with another friend who was deeply upset by "other people's uncaring behavior" I found myself wondering how she had stopped taking care of herself and whether life was mirroring an important lesson for her that she had yet to see.

Please don't misunderstand, none of this is meant to be judgmental or finger-pointing. It is a reminder that there are mirrors everywhere around us. And if we pay attention we'll see things we need to see in ourselves. Our life mirrors can show us positive aspects of ourselves we're not fully aware of as well. And unless we become aware of them, we're unable to fully and intentionally use those traits to better our lives or the lives of those around us. Regardless of whether the mirror image is positive or negative, I have found it incredibly important to practice compassion and acceptance toward the negatives, and humility and gratitude toward those traits with a more positive bent.

What mirrors are showing up around you?

As we go into this holiday season I hope you'll find some time to cultivate peace and goodwill toward others internally so that more moments of peace and goodwill show up in the mirrors around you. I hope that instead of trying to control others (a fruitless and ultimately frustrating exercise in futility) that you will slip away to find some quiet time to center yourself and take a good look in the mirror. If you don't like what you see, you can't change it by lashing out at the image you see there. You can change it by compassionately, gently accepting that aspect of yourself and seeking the still small voice of wisdom to guide you into a more effective way of being. What a wonderful gift to give yourself and the world this holiday season!!

Quote of the Week:

"Everything is a gift of the universe -- even joy, anger, jealously, frustration, or separateness. Everything is perfect either for our growth or our enjoyment."

~~Ken Keyes Jr., author

"Transforming Your Potential into Performance!"
Betty Mahalik, PCC Life & Business Coach, Trainer bettym@dynamic-coaching.com www.dynamic-coaching.com	Dynamic Solutions 5240 Mustang St. Las Vegas, NV 89130 tel: 702 658-4425 fax: 702 658-5802 mobile: 702 443-0175
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