What's Your Story

The power of stories has been very much on my mind of late. Not the fairy-tale stories of childhood, but the stories we live out in our lives every day; the stories that have a defining impact on us, though we may not realize it. I had an opportunity last week to invite a group of college students to identify and tell a powerful story from their own lives, and the results changed mine.

It was an advanced level class on training and facilitation skills. The instructor invited me to speak to her class and present a short module on “the power of story” that she had recently seen me give to another group. From the moment I entered the room, I knew this was a bright, engaged group of students who would enjoy the exercise. Little did I know….

The assignment, after some preparatory remarks about how powerful stories are when used in a speech or presentation, was to recall and retell with as much detail as possible the story about an event, situation or person in their life, and to describe how that event had shaped them as leaders and individuals. After about 10 minutes to think about it and prepare, they shared their stories in small groups, then each group chose one member to tell their story to the rest of the class.

The stories that came from that experience were powerful, moving and I’m guessing largely forgotten until that assignment. One young woman spoke about the time in 3^rd grade, attending school in Germany where her father was stationed, when her teacher had the students make cards to encourage someone in a hospital. She described going into a large hospital where it quickly became apparent to her that many there were alone, scared and not feeling well. Her concluding statement said it all: “I realized that being generous and caring toward others is really the most important gift we can give.” The tears started flowing.

The next young woman told of a more recent experience where, on an outing with a group of other young journalists, she made an off-hand, potentially offensive comment to someone of a different ethnicity. It was neither intended to hurt nor embarrass the other person. She reflected on how embarrassed she felt after making the comment. The lesson this story-teller reminded the audience of is this: Words do have an effect, and it’s important to think before speaking. Oh we would all do so well to remember this one.

The third young woman (there really were guys in the class too) described a friendship in high school, where as an upper-classmen, she had befriended a freshman boy, and in one casual conversation literally changed the trajectory of his life. She talked about how he was incredibly smart, nice looking and a great guy, but as often happens at that awkward age, was not particularly confident in approaching girls. She encouraged him to go ahead and ask out the girl he really liked. “Go for it,” she said.

It wasn’t until two or three years later that she got “the rest of the story.” One day, checking her My Space account, she saw a message with an attachment from the young man whom she had actually lost contact with. Now enrolled at Stanford University as an engineering student, he paid tribute to her for inspiring him to go for his dreams, follow his passions....All from one “seemingly insignificant” conversation. She never realizedhow deeply that conversation had touched her friend. The lesson learned: when you have the opportunity to do so, encourage someone else. You never know where that passing comment will lead.

There were other stories as well: The young woman who paid tribute to her mother as the most supportive, understanding and inspiring person in her life, and the young man who shared the story of his immergence from introverted wall-flower to engaged student leader, all because someone invited him to participate in a game among a group of college friends. Now he is the one inviting others to join in.

We just never know where our inspiration will come from nor who we will share inspiration with that might change lives.

Today, I challenge each of you with the assignment I gave these students: Identify a time, an experience, a person from your own life that has had an impact on who you are as a person or a leader. Engage in the activity, re-create that moment, remind yourself of the lesson learned, the benefit gained (by the way sometimes even negative people and experiences make an amazingly positive contribution) from their influence.

If the person is still alive and it’s appropriate to do so, thank them and pledge to pay it forward. If it’s not possible to thank the person, at the very least acknowledge the power the story has had on your life, how you live it and the difference you make in the world.

There is a line from a beautiful song in the hit Broadway musical Wicked! that speaks volumes here:

What’s your story? Are you aware of the impact you have on others by your very presence? You can rewrite it; you can rescript it; you can have a do-over. I encourage you to start today, this week by acknowledging the stories that have touched your life.

Quote of the Week

“At times our own light goes out and is rekindled by a spark from another person. Each of us has cause to think with deep gratitude of those who have lighted the flame within us.”

~~Albert Schweitzer

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