Break the Pattern

 Break the Pattern

We human beings are creatures of habit. We fall into ruts and routines with the greatest of ease. As we close out the first month of 2012, perhaps you’ve noticed yourself lapsing back into well-worn ruts instead of focusing on your new year’s intentions.  If so, then take a deep breath and make this the week you dare to break the pattern (at least one) that keeps you stuck! 

How is it that we so effortlessly fall into counter-productive patterns?  For one, we have a habit of describing our limitations, talking constantly about what we aren't doing and why. Think about the conversations you’ve had lately.  Are they filled with economic doom and gloom, declarations of what you don’t want, can’t do, or a constant running litany of what’s wrong with the world?  It's enough to discourage even the most cockeyed optimist!  

The more we describe the "reasons" why we can't do this or that, or the more obsessed we are with trying to control things outside our control,  the more stuck we become. It’s like spinning your wheels in the sand.  It may give you something to do but it doesn't get you anywhere!

Another reason we so easily succumb to the old patterns is quite simply due to our habitual default settings. As one philosopher put it:  "We are what we repeatedly do." So we unconsciously plop into the comfy chair after dinner, zone out in front of the TV or spend hours web-surfing and then complain about the results we're reaping instead of asking a pattern-breaking question: What would be a more effective use of this time? Or  What might I do immediately after dinner to counter my default settings?  In short, we become what we consistently talk about and do. Have you had enough? Are you ready for a change?  Then start now setting the wheels in motion to move in a new pattern-busting direction.  How?  Here are five ways to catapult yourself out of the rut and onto the runway to your dreams! 

First, it's important to forgive yourself for all the ways you've been self-sabotaging up until now. We spend way too much time beating ourselves up, letting our inner critic run amok and then wondering why we feel so unmotivated.  Start with a positive, healthy dose of self-forgiveness and get ready to move on.  Simply ask yourself this question:  “How has beating myself up worked to move me closer to my dreams and goals?”  If you’re honest, you’ll likely answer “It hasn’t.” 

Second,  decide what you want to change in your life. Everything starts with a decision, a declaration, a clear intention.

• I declare that I want my health and well-being to be #1.
• I declare that I want to live my life and quit living others lives.
• I declare that I am done with the old patterns.  They will no longer define me now, and I can make other choices that produce more positive results.  

Issue a declaration about what you are ready to change. And make sure your declaration is written down in clear, positive language. 

Third, create a plan. In a conversation recently with a coaching client we were discussing her sales results. As we talked it became apparent that unless she had a clear, focused plan that was moving her toward her bigger goals, she would likely keep finding ways to sabotage herself. In her words, "If I'm not productive, I become destructive." So pick 2-3 goals you're ready to move forward with and make a plan for how to get there. Include things in the plan like what it will mean when you achieve the goal, and how you'll reward yourself. Energize the plan with emotion by describing how you'll feel. Another powerful tool is to create a dream board of your goals with pictures that energize and inspire you. And when you talk about your goals speak with passion and excitement. 

Fourth, start taking consistent action. Small steps done consistently are better than huge steps done once and then abandoned.  Nothing replaces action. No amount of wishing, hoping and concentrating on your plan will ever replace the power of forward movement, one step at a time. While others are sitting around bemoaning their circumstances or excusing their excuses, you'll be out taking consistent action, creating and seizing opportunities and growing your business.  

I remember a wonderful conversation I had some time ago with a realtor friend who had already set the wheels in motion to have her best year ever despite the fact that others in her business have been dropping like flies.  She has a plan and she's working it. Every day, she sets certain activity goals: to meet someone for coffee or lunch, to do what she calls a "pop by", making an "I was in the neighborhood" visit to a prospect, past client or referral source, or she sends a card or note. As a result her referral engine is humming along, and her phone is ringing. It was a joy being in her company. The key is consistent action. 

Finally, hang around with people who are breaking the pattern and moving forward, like my realtor friend.  We become like the people we spend our time around.  Are you hanging out with the people who know that 2012 can be their best ever, or those who are stuck in wheel-spinning patterns like “when-then.”  You’ll recognize the “when-then” pattern in the following examples:  “When I finish my taxes then I’ll start exercising.”  “When I get my tax return then I’ll start saving.”  “When my kids leave home then I’ll go back to school.”  You get the idea.  Do your best to cultivate a circle of “can-do” friends who talk about what they are doing, what is possible.  And become the “can do” friend others want to be around. 

If you’ve had it with feeling stuck or just not knowing where you want to go in 2012, I can't urge you strongly enough to break the patterns that keep you spinning your wheels. Give up the conversations that reinforce all the so-called "reasons" you can't move forward. Take the time to decide what you're ready, willing and able to change, create a plan for how to reach those goals, take actions everyday to move you forward and hang around the people who are making things happen. You have the power to live the life you dream of. You have the power to break old limiting patterns and create new self-fulfilling goals and prophecies. And remember this: "the answer to 'how'? is a resounding "Yes!" 

Make it a powerful, pattern-busting week!

 Quote of the Week

 "I want to be thoroughly used up when I die, for the harder I work the more I live. I rejoice in life for its own sake."

~~George Bernard Shaw